Have you ever done any of those personality type exercises? I’ve completed several. Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, Love Languages – you name it, I’ve probably done it! Some I have done out of choice and a desire to learn and communicate better; others have been at the behest of management at work.
They’ve all given me some insight into my motivations and skills and comfort zone. The Enneagram proved the most meaningful for me. The more I’ve done the less ‘new’ information I’ve discovered. But several have pointed to my being an introvert.
We’ve all heard the terminology, haven’t we? The popular view is that extroverts are sociable and introverts are shy. The official definition is more about extroverts finding their energy in company while introverts are replenished by quiet and alone time.
The category I fall into is an introvert who looks like an extrovert!
I have great skills for social situations: I have attended national conferences alone and found people to connect with. Heck, I have spoken at national conferences! I have held dinner parties. I’ve given speeches and compered events. I’m not afraid to speak up in meetings. I know how to make friends. And I am interested in other people.
But doing all this exhausts me.
My idea of heaven is a quiet beautiful place, undisturbed, with an infinite supply of books to bury myself in! I am way more comfortable in a small group of people I already know than a big one. Where I don’t have to put on a show or make an effort to work out what to talk about or how to read the social situation. Where I won’t feel overwhelmed by noise – walking into a dining room a few months ago with the echoing hubbub of chattering people who already seemed to be in their own social groups was hellish. At the same event, sitting in a quiet lounge over coffee with one new person, intermittently chatting and reading, was delightful.
If you read my poem Crowd https://thestufflifeismadeofblog.wordpress.com/2018/09/16/crowd-five-minute-friday/, you’ll see what is going on in my head when I walk into a party or event.
But in the end, it’s all about balance, isn’t it?
I know I can too easily get wrapped up in my own labyrinth of thoughts.
Like today.
I have been caught up in all the details of our approaching move to Cornwall. Leaving my job, changing cars, what to take and what to leave, and worrying it will all be derailed by my being ill at the moment.
Then along comes a Theseus in the form of my husband. We talk it through and perspective returns – about timings and sharing tasks. And I remember the Ariadnes in my life, who support me practically: like my sons who cook and garden while those tasks are hard for me; or the Christian friends who continue to pray for me; or the work colleagues who have been so understanding and supportive.
I am not on my own. And Genesis 2.18 reminds me that we are not designed to be (too much) on our own. God gives us companions for the road. I need to remember to step outside of myself and spend time with them.
Even if I need to retreat again later.
Every week the Five Minute Friday community free write for a limited time inspired by a given prompt word. It’s also a fantastically supportive groups for writers. You can find more inspirational writing here: Community – Five Minute Friday
thestufflifeismadeofblog 
Personality tests have both helped and hindered my growth. I have felt challenged and defeated. I think the accuracy of the test is determined by one’s state of mind when taking the test.
Don’t you agree?
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Oh definitely. And some are more insightful than others – perhaps depending on personality type(!) but also on the skill of the leader running it. I think one of the reasons I found the Enneagram so helpful was because there seems much room for growth in it than others, which left me feeling boxed in.
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What an intersting post. I love those personality tests too, Liz, and I’m the same as you – nodody ever believes I’m an introvert. Great to hear that your plans are coming together. Can’t wait to hear about the next stage in your journey x
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I wonder if our ‘type’ is more common in writers?
I’m thinking about a new blog series about the next year…
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Sounds great! I would read it!
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Tests of personality,
I’ve tried every one;
they say the same thing to me,
that namely, I have none
beyond the ale that I imbibe
beginning ‘fore the sun arises,
but I’m not of the alky tribe,
a revelation that surprises
most who think they understand
the power of addiction,
but they don’t hold in their hand
the power of prediction.
Beer’s a tool, a bitter cup
that keeps me from throwing up.
True story. I have to drink light beer to quell the nausea that would proscribe my ability to eat anything.
Not the best solution with pancreatic cancer, but it works for now.
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Well, I always found milk works better than Gaviscon and a fizzy citrus drink eases nausea. So here’s to natural remedies Andrew! (Sorry you need the beer though)
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Yes I prefer the enneagram too as it is very detailed and flexible, as you say. I really appreciated your post here. A friend of mine seems to find it difficult to believe me when I tell her that I struggle with all the sociable things, because she says I do it well. What you write makes sense. I always say that I need to recharge my batteries alone for a few hours, but can use days of recharging if left to it! Thank you. #32
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Oh definitely. It’s the difference between having the skills for social situations but them using up so much energy, isn’t it? Ability is not the same as comfort.
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Absolutely. Great line – Ability is not the same as comfort. Thank you. x
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