It’s been a hard week, dispiriting and emotionally exhausting. Again.
We’ve started the demoralizing process that is the UK system of finding a care home for our hospitalised Dad, in an area with hardly any vacancies, and having to sell his flat to fund it. I could tell you all the disheartening details but this is meant to be a post about blessings – it’s just been difficult to find any in all this.
But if I look closely enough and pay attention, there have been momentary blessings, flashes of respite or encouragement:
There was the flock of long tailed tits playing tag from branch to branch in the hedge as I pulled up in the work car park, oblivious to the tears of frustration I was crying after a stressful meeting with Dad’s social worker.
There was the hug from a friend, only our second in fifteen years of friendship – she doesn’t ‘do hugs’ but thought I needed one.
There was the low golden light over a frosted silver and blue lake as we drove back from a care home visit, trying to weigh up whether this was the best one for Dad or not.
There were the reminiscences my brother told of our Dad, which had inspired him in his own life as a husband and father.
There was my nephew literally jumping up and down for joy as his team thoroughly beat their opponents as he played FIFA 2012.
There was Rick Astley’s latest album https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AC3Ejf7vPEY&list=PLrdTMSkt3NJi-_d14pQ-F1BomGjCuy4FN to sing along to as I drove between patient visits, exhorting myself to ‘Keep Singing’ through all this.
And then there was this:
It’s just a mug, a Christmas present some years ago from a work friend, but it’s become my favourite one for my first coffee of the day. It’s Royal Worcester and looks rather delicate but is surprisingly tough. I said as much to my husband yesterday. His comforting reply?
“Just like you then.”
*****
God is in the small things.
’The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”’ (1 Kings 19.11-13)
thestufflifeismadeofblog 
Such beautiful words. I’m so sorry to hear that life is a bit hard right now but in sharing your life stories you are also a blessing to those of us who like to read what you’ve written. Much love xxx
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Thanks Kiren. It’s a real rollercoaster these days but if my words bless others then that’s a great counter to the negative emotions.
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It is often in the natural world that our blessings are to be found when times are so tough. At the point of the committal at my Dad’s Cremation on Wednesday, a woodpecker came to feed at the bird feeder that was visible through the window. Everyone commented on it afterwards and that will always be the picture I see when I recall that day. May God continue to give you the strength you need through this very tough time xx
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Thank you for sharing that Alice – I’m so glad you have that image to hold onto. I think the natural world either gives a reassuring sense of continuity when life has become so uncertain or that beauty is somehow comforting in its own right. God bless you and your family x
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